Up Till Now

It happened in Melbourne.

He was sitting at a cafe on a trendy alley off of Little Flinders Street. Everyone there looked liked artists of some sort or other, dressed in their autumn best, writing or sketching their latest inspiration into black notebooks.

With his dark brown Kangol beret and a cup of overpriced hot chocolate on the table, an incredible sense of insecurity and loneliness came over him.

"I'm a fraud," he thought.

He didn't belong there.

This impression had planted a seed of doubt into his future plans of living in a big city back in the States. He had plans of "making it", of chasing a dream.

But there was a deeper doubt, a doubt that had already been growing for some time.

Many times people chase after not the thing they want the most, but the thing they want second best. It's much easier to take failure when the thing you were working so hard towards, wasn't what you really wanted in the first place.

A year ago, he asked himself what he wanted to do, what he wanted to make of the finite time that he had here in this universe.

Up till now, he had been chasing phantoms and had let himself be drawn to Sirens on this ocean of time.

Looking back though, he had no real regrets. Wandering for him, had given him direction.

After New Zealand was Melbourne and Melbourne was a wake up call. He had found it ironic that though cities are supposed to be the pinnacle of civilization, it's the place where you find the most uncivilized behavior. The city attracts money, money attracts people, and with only so much money and space, people begin to hate people and treat each other as such. But it wasn't all bad, he had made a few friends and got to see a lot of interesting things.

After Melbourne was Jindabyne, a small ski resort town and it's here he's discovered the joy of a simple life with just enough distractions that he can handle.

Through these waves of change he's been able to wash away a bit of what he thought was important, but in reality wasn't. He's been able to get a good look at himself and get a better understanding of his strengths and weaknesses.

While in Jindabyne, on a special day, he reread a journal entry written exactly one year ago. He had wrote "I can't leave sand castles[...] I have to leave something that can withstand the waves, something that touches the infinite in this finite time that I have."

It made him smile and think to himself, "We're all making sand castles on the shore of time, we would be fooling ourselves if we thought otherwise. But so what? The only thing infinite is finiteness."

The entry reminded him of an old interview he read where Paulo Coelho, the author of The Alchemist, told the interviewer, "I see death as a beautiful woman. She says, 'pay attention and try to get the best of every moment because I am going to take you.'"

The thought made him smile and he adds to it, "...And She drives away the Sirens and sings a song that had been residing inside me all this time."

I just need to listen.

New Zealand Blog Day 13: Last Day on the Road and the start of Quality Time with Family

Saturday April 24^th, 2010

Day 13

Last Day on the Road and the start of Quality Time with Family

Not much to write about on this last day. We had to return the car before our flight in the afternoon so we spent all morning driving. It was a rainy day.

When we got into Christchurch, we got some Mackers for the road (Mackers = McDonalds in Australia, not sure about NZ). There must be an addictive additive in the Big Mac. After cooking my own meals for a while, I get this craving for a Big Mac (it was the first thing I got when I got off the mango farm).

When we dropped off the car we had to say goodbye to the 30 dollar comforter we bought and used as our bed for the past week, the rental guy said they’d take care of it (probably just throw it away, so sad).

The rental car company (Nationwide) had a free shuttle from their office to the airport so we took that and caught our flight on time back to Auckland.

So…how much did this road trip cost me?

Total for today: 166 NZD (includes Jetstar plane ticket from Christchurch back to Auckland: 113 NZD)

Total for trip overall: 1312.8 NZD

Daily Average of Costs: 100.98 NZD

Now if we also include my round trip Emirates plane ticket from Melbourne to Auckland (which was 519.48 NZD), my total cost for the trip is 1832.28 NZD (Daily Average of 130.88 NZD).

1832.28 NZD = 1476.31 AUD = 1330.60 USD

The breakdown of this total from the greatest to least cost is as follows (Note DA = Daily Average, all prices in NZD):

International Airfare (Melbourne<->Auckland): 519.48

Domestic Transport: 351.8

Accommodation: 260 (DA: 20)

Gas: 251.2 (DA: 19.32)

Food & Drink: 249.8 (DA: 19.22)

Communications (Internet, Phone, Mail): 77 (DA: 5.92)

Tours: 45

Clothes and Amenities: 71 (DA: 5.46)

Laundry: 7

Airfare and transportation costs are the biggest money bleeders. These are my own personal share of the costs so the total cost of this trip for the two of us is roughly: 3664.56 NZD = 2952.63 AUD = 2661.20 USD

Epilogue:

My last four days in New Zealand were spent with family. My mom, who hasn’t seen her brother in a long time, came to visit. It’s already been half a year since I left home, so it was really nice to see her. I stayed with my uncle’s family and they were the perfect hosts, showing us around all the spots in Auckland and giving Apo and I food! = )

My Uncle played tour guide and was very knowledgeable about the city and the surrounding areas. Auckland has a lot to offer and I’m glad that we took four days to check it out instead of the one day-one town road trip phase. Much appreciation to my Uncle for showing us around.

I’ve collected Auckland’s greatest hits in this photo album.

This is the end of my New Zealand Blog. Hopefully it was helpful and entertaining.

So what happened after New Zealand? Well, that will be covered in my next post…Up Till Now.

New Zealand Blog Day 12: Mount Aoraki (aka Mount Cook)

Friday April 23^rd, 2010

Day 12

The Road Trip is Almost at an End.

We woke up in the morning and had some cornflakes (we used our cups as bowls and some plastic spoons). After paying for accommodation and saying goodbye to the owner we hit the road.

Today was Mount Aoraki (aka Mount Cook) day and we began our drive up to the mountain. Along the way we came across Lake Punaki, which is absolutely stunning. The color of the water is a milky aquamarine. The clouds overhead seemed to have been brushed onto the sky. We stopped and I jumped past the rocks to get up close to the water for some pictures. Afterwards, I kept driving in what I thought was the right direction.

Wrong. First of all the road was not going in an incline as most mountain roads do nor did the scenery change that much. It wasn’t until we were in Fairlie that I realized I had missed the mountain completely.

We checked the map, and it was going to take us about another hour to drive back and 30 minutes to get to the mountain from the turn off that I missed. There was nothing really to see from Fairlie to Christchurch and so I made the decision to turn back. Needless to say, the Missus was fuming at the wasted daylight time, but I opted to pay for the gas seeing as it was my fault for not checking the map carefully before driving. Just going only slightly above the speed limit, we made our way back.

We made it back to the turn off towards Mount Cook/Aoraki in one hour and started on the road to the mountain area. The road to Mount Aoraki is the most picturesque road I have ever driven, seriously. To the right is the beautiful Lake Punaki and ahead and to the left are mountains that seem to surround you and enclose you. Rays of light cut through the clouds and hit the lake and the mountains creating a breathtaking light show. However, as we got closer to the visitor centre located at the base of the mountain, the sky had completely turned from a bright blue hue to a dismal grey. When we got out of the car, the cold air and moisture hits you. Half an hour of driving and we were in a different world.

When we finally got up close to the “Cloud Piercer” we were a bit disappointed. Clouds and fog obscured the view and the area surrounding the base of the mountain just seemed very grey.

We checked out the visitor centre that had a quote on display that hit me deeply:

Though the author of the quote is talking about mountain climbing, I related it to martial arts. In mortal combat, one gets a glimpse of the reality of existence. To face death is to know life. There are safer ways to challenge oneself be it in the realm of mountain climbing or martial arts but the idea to place oneself in a very true, primal experience is still there.

After the visitor centre we had a salmon and spinach pizza at the hotel just up the walking path. It was very tasty (much to Apo’s delight) but was very small (much to my dismay).

After, we went to go see the Tasman Glacier, but as Lonely Planet said, it’s “a bit dirty looking” and was not very impressive.

We left the Mount Aoraki/Cook area and made our way towards Christchurch. It was getting quite dark when we arrived in Geraldine (about 140 km out from Christchurch) and decided to find a caravan park here for the night. We found one and YES, they had cooking utensils =).

That night, after doing some shopping at a local supermarket, Apo stewed up some chicken drumsticks with porridge and vegetables. Cold nights and porridge go together like ice cream on a summer’s day so I didn’t mind at all having porridge again. As we ate dinner we watched American Idol on a small TV they had in the kitchen (I especially liked the singer/guitarist Tim Urban).

Thinking back, I realized that the highlight of the day was not our main destination (Mount Aroaki/Cook) but the road there.

Today was our last full day on the road. It has been fun, but I’m eager to see family and sleep in a warm bed. Till then.

DT: 71.35

RT: 1146.8

RDA: 95.57

New Zealand Blog Day 11: Wanaka

Thursday April 22^nd, 2010

Day 11

Wanaka!

It’s quite a unique name for a place and it is also quite a unique place. We spent the morning at the hostel looking up places to visit around the area. I had a craving for pizza and we decided to have lunch at “The Cow”. We bought a huge pizza there for 32 NZD and we made it a point to eat the whole damn thing. It was quite good. I was not a fan of the celery topping, but the ham, pepperoni, tomato, onion, mushroom, and cheeses blended well.

However, during our after lunch walk around Lake Wanaka flatulence hit us with a vengeance. The excess gas did cut down our walking time by a few seconds as it propelled us down the lakeside.

Lake Wanaka is picturesque. There were a bunch of Chinese tourists with really professional looking camera equipment taking pictures of leaves, water, and other naturey things. It’s quite a draw for nature lovers and photographers (pictures). The autumn leaves by the lakeside reminded me of school and it made me miss home a bit.

After the lake, we had some coffee and ice cream at the Cinema Paradiso in town. Cinema Paradiso is quite a novelty in that their theatre is set up like somebody’s house, with couches and tables, and you can order food to be served to you during intermission. We didn’t catch a movie as there was nothing playing that we liked so after our drinks we went into the car and headed towards Mount Aoraki (Mount Cook).

We arrived in the small town of Twizel, just south of the mountain in the evening and after wandering around town finally found a caravan park. It was after hours, but the owner was still in his office and was kind enough to let us stay and said we could just pay in the morning.

We were pretty hungry and were eager to start cooking up some dinner. They had a kitchen at the park but problem is, no cooking utensils = O. After our little splurge this afternoon for lunch we were not keen to go out and eat again.

Luckily, a cyclist from Alaska was in the campsite next to us and had a squashed tin pot in her bag that we could use. After bending it back into shape, Apo cooked up some porridge with pork and vegetables, quite a good meal on a chilly night.

Tomorrow Mount Aoraki, the cloud piercer!

DT: 66.6

RDA: 97.77

RT: 1075.45

New Zealand Blog Day 10: Franz Josef/Fox Glacier

As I said I would, I'm posting up the remaining three posts for my New Zealand Blog. There's no excuse for my procrastination. I'm determined to finish this series so as to bring closure to it and also so that I may be able to talk about more current events (like my life here in Jindabyne). Now, the rest of my NZ blog:

Wednesday April 21st, 2010

Day 10

Franz Josef/Fox Glacier

Aw, glacier day!

So we were thinking about doing a half day hike tour for Franz Josef (105 NZD, Fox Glacier is a little bit cheaper, 90 NZD), but an English girl told us last night that her friends did it and thought that it was a waste of time (“You spend nearly half the time just walking to the glacier”). So we scrapped that idea. I asked Apo around 7am in the morning what she thought about doing the full day tour (Franz Josef 160 NZD, Fox 145 NZD). She was still half asleep and time was running out, so we decided today we would DIY and check out the glaciers ourselves and if we saw fit, do a tour tomorrow.

Thus, Apo slept in, while I watched an excellent New Zealand film called “Once Were Warriors” on my laptop. The actor that plays Jango Fett and the clones in the Clone Wars (Temeura Morrison) is the male lead in the film.

After breakfast we checked out of the hostel and made our way to the first glacier, Franz Josef. The thing about glaciers is that they’re not easy to get to. As I mentioned before, you have to walk a good amount of time before you get to the ice, for Franz Josef about 1-1.5 hr.

The walk to the glacier however, is quite beautiful. Many years ago, the glacier had cut through the mountain and then started to retreat (retreating extremely rapidly at 70 cm/day in 1984) leaving behind a valley abundant in waterfalls and glacier-cut rocks as you can see here.

We got as close to the glacier as we could without the need of a tour guide (to get onto the glacier itself you have to join a tour as the area is extremely dangerous and special equipment is needed). Looking out onto the valley with the glacier behind you is quite an experience. The glacier itself is also very beautiful and you could make out people dotting the ice surface far up the glacier.

Walking back, I hella needed to go to the bathroom and the nearest one was back at the carpark almost an hour away. As I walked through that pristine valley full of glacier water waterfalls, all I could think about was taking a piss. After relieving myself in the port-a-potty, we headed towards Fox Glacier.

At the small town next to Fox, we had a seafood basket with chips (French fries) which was quite good but quite costly (15 NZD). Afterwards, we had a walk around the nearby Lake Matheson. The walk around the lake and the views of the mountains in the distance reminded me of this old painting my parents have back at the house. The painting is of an American landscape, but there was a visual similarity I found looking out at the mountains with the water in the foreground that reminded me of that painting and also of the house I grew up in.

Fox Glacier was a bit disappointing compared to Franz Josef, it’s much flatter and smaller. However, it’s much closer and easier to get to which was good because our legs by this point were getting all walked out. The signs going up to the glaciers describe extremely serious situations but also have a child-like quality to them (I’m assuming so that even a child can understand what they mean). I had a drink from the stream coming from the glacier (making sure that it was in a safe, open area with stable footing) and it tasted quite good, cool and crisp and had a bit of a salty taste to it.

Back at the carpark, I saw an elderly lady feed a green Kea some crackers with the tour guide looking on. If you read one of my previous posts about the begging ducks, you can understand my discomfort at seeing that Kea eating crackers. The Kea is a majestic bird with a powerful beak and claw that it sometimes uses to tear the fat off of sheep. But here it was, manically chasing a cracker to the elderly peoples’ amusement. But I didn’t say anything. I did notice a tag on one of the Kea’s leg and, with the help of cognitive dissonance, resolved that the Kea was probably a pet of one of the park rangers and was too far gone, that it needed humans for substance. Thinking back, I should’ve mentioned something and not have just stood there as they fed the bird (note: a “Please Do Not Feed the Wildlife” sign was about 20 metres away).

On the drive from Fox to our next stop, Wanaka, we stopped at Bruce Bay. A significant feature of Bruce Bay is that its beach is full of circular rocks and pebbles that people like to stack or write on. Also, it’s a great place to watch the sunset and though we couldn’t see the sun because of the clouds, the different hues of pink and blue made up for it.

We arrived in Wanaka that night at around 9pm, which was shit for us because most of the hostels we called had already closed reception by this time. Luckily we found a hostel (Mountain View Backpackers) in our trusty NZ Lonely Planet that was still open and had a very nice double room available. It was the most comfortable bed we’ve had all trip which was good, because we were exhausted.

Sleep.

Reminder: DT= Day's Total (i.e. the total costs for that day), RT = Running Total, RDA = Running Daily Average (i.e. the daily average spending up to that day)

DT: 92.9

RT: 1008.85

RDA: 100.89

How to Get Out of Slavery: A Message to Children of Immigrants and/or Controlling Parents

There is this terrible misinterpretation that is pervasive among children of migrant parents: In order to show your love and gratitude to your parents, you must do what they say.

聽媽媽的話 or “Listen to your mother”, these phrases are drilled into us as children. What happens then is that people take this advice literally, whatever their mother or father tells them to do, they do it. This is not so dangerous when they’re telling you to put on a jacket but it is when it comes to education or career choices:

“Go study this”.

“Go be that”.

And the kids do it. But what is surprisingly absent in these life changing decisions is the child’s own voice. (Please note, when I say “child” I’m not referring to a five year old, I’m talking about a young adult who is beginning to make decisions for him/herself that will affect the rest of their life).

What happens then is that there are legions of people in fields of study and professions that they don’t really care about. They’ve been the good son and daughter and they’ve done what their parents told them to do at the price of their life.

So what is the misinterpretation? Where does this misinterpretation occur?

Let’s look at the phrase again: In order to show your love and gratitude to your parents, you must do what they say.

This is a concept that is derived from my observation of the Asian migrant community in America but I believe it translates to many migrant communities around the world. There is this pressure (spoken or unspoken) by children to acknowledge the hardships and sacrifices that their parents went through to come to a new country and give them a better life. The problem is that this acknowledgment constantly comes in the form of slavery.

However, this does not have to be the case.

Good parents want one thing for their children: They want them to be happy. This in turn will make the parents happy.

The misinterpretation is that the children believe that doing what their parents tell them to do will make the parents happy when in fact, if their parents are reasonable people, the child’s own happiness will make the parents happy. It may not in the short term, but after some time, the parents will recognize that their child is doing what he/she wants and will accept that.

Where the misinterpretation occurs is that parents think they know what their children want and the children believe that. The reality is this: only YOU know what you want.^

Migrants move to a new country generally for one reason: stability.

They’re escaping economic/political instability in their own country to explore the prospect of a more stable life abroad.

To them stability = happiness.

Let’s assume that this equation is true, taking happiness as a constant and stability as a variable. Most migrant parents define stability in a few choice professions: medicine, law, engineering, and accounting. They don’t understand that the idea of a stable job has broadened to incorporate all different kinds of sectors and professions. * With self knowledge and knowledge of what’s out there, you will realize what you want to do and define “stability” in your own terms.

The bottom line is this: parents are human beings too. The advice they give should be taken with the same grains of salt you season other peoples’ advice with. If it’s good advice, it’s good, if it’s bad advice, it’s bad. You must not focus on the person giving the advice but the actual advice itself and how it relates to you.

One of the major obstructions to making such a differentiation is a mental one: as the child you feel inherently guilty for doing anything that might go against what your parents envisioned for you. DON’T FEEL GUILTY.

This is your life and you and only you are responsible for your own happiness. When you realize that, you will be free.

^To know what you want is a lifelong journey. By knowing yourself and what is important to you, you will be in command of your own life. Thus, it’s a journey well worth taking. Your life experience will inform you what is important to you, listen to that.

*I have nothing against medicine, law, engineering, or accounting, they are all very honorable professions. The problem I believe is that there is an overemphasis, especially in the Asian migrant community, to pursue these professions without regards to the fact if the child fits that profession. I believe that there is a natural statistical spread of what people should be i.e. in a group of a 100 randomly selected people I do believe there is a number of them that are meant to be doctors, a number of them are meant to be musicians and a smaller number that are meant to be both. I don’t know what those numbers are but I feel there is a greater shift, more so than that of the general public, in the Asian migrant community towards the medicine, law, engineering, and accounting professions that deviates from a natural norm. What that natural norm is quantitatively I don’t know, but qualitatively I know it’s there.

Something to Write Home About

Hey all.

As you might have noticed, the blog has been quiet since my New Zealand Blog Day 9 post (3 more posts to go for that series).

I had taken a break from that series to focus on making a short film for a film competition sponsored by the Overseas Compatriot Affairs Commission (OCAC), a Taiwanese government organization that oversees overseas Taiwanese affairs. The title of the competition is "My Second Home". The general purpose of the competition is to have Taiwanese or those of Taiwanese descent to share with other's (through film) their stories living away from home. The OCAC's also hopes that this competition promotes internationally the independent status of Taiwan (though they might not say so so directly).

My video can be viewed here:

http://video.mactv.com.tw/filmDetail.html?fid=184

Title: Something to Write Home About

Synopsis:

James is a 2nd generation Taiwanese-American living in Australia. Living in a different country, he’s come to realize the realities of life as a foreigner. Even though he’s thousands of miles from home, the move has made him feel even more connected to his parents who moved from Taiwan to America before he was born. James shares these thoughts with his brother back in the states as he gets ready for work.

Backstory:

This film happened because of two things: 1) My girlfriend's passport got stolen, 2) Not getting work in Melbourne. My gf passport had been stolen while we were staying at the Nomads All Nations Backpackers on Spencer St (WARNING: Do not stay there).

I had accompanied her to get her passport replaced and saw an ad for this competition in the reception desk window. I took a picture of it and didn't think too much about it for three weeks. After three weeks had passed of job searching with no luck on finding steady income (did some labour work for a few days setting up exhibitions), I came across that picture again.

We had a job set up towards the end of June in NSW and it looked like we weren't going to be getting any work anytime before that so...why not make a film? By this time though, I had one week before the deadline (May 31st) and had to figure out something fast. My gf gave me the idea of linking my life abroad with that of my parents a generation earlier. I liked the idea not only because it connected to the topic, but it also connected to my life at that point in time.

From this focus I began developing different ideas for the film (with help from my girlfriend who was a great soundboard to bounce ideas off of). After trial and error (video footage I previously recorded not working), watching some music videos and commercials (see "Misread" by Kings of Convenience and Spike Jonze's MV for California by WAX), and a conversation with a friend (explained below) the short film took shape to what you see/hear now.

Aside from the fact that my cooking hasn't really improved that much, nor did I ever remove rocks from a cave, the rest is true. The rocks in a cave line comes from a conversation I had with a fellow backpacker/labourer: his job for two days was to remove rocks from under a house by himself using buckets. He said it was hard but the money was good and it was a new experience. We continued talking about our experiences here in Australia and he said, "Here I have no one. You have to fight for everything. You have to fight to exist." When he said that, it really struck a chord with me and echoed what my director friend told me about being a filmmaker (his film coincidentally is named Fight Life). This conversation helped me make the final changes to the script that I needed.

Director's Statement:

This film is about discovery. But what I'm discovering has always been there. It's akin to a familiar story of the protagonist searching far and wide for treasure only to realize that it's in his own backyard. It is my parents and their courage to leave their home country to make new lives in a foreign land that planted the roots of my existence. It's a part of who I am but I never really appreciated that past until I experienced it myself living in Australia. In Taiwan and America, I have a support net of family and friends, but in Australia I only have my girlfriend. If we fall, we fall and nothing will catch us. However my parents faced the same situation along with much greater obstacles well over thirty years ago. They're a source of inspiration. By being away from home, I feel closer to them. My home is my family and is all the treasure I need.