
November 9, 2010
The Pack: Wolf & Charlie Artwork

February 20, 2010
Royal Mutt and Panda Bear - Chapter 6: Love
“Are you a robot?”
The question caught Royal Mutt off guard.
Royal Mutt and Elle were sitting in her old white Infiniti on top of a hill. Above them the stars twinkled in the Southern Californian sky, below them laid the city, a sea of lights next to the sea.
Royal replied with a nervous laugh, “Heh…what?”
“Do you feel anything?”
“Of course I feel things.”
“Sometimes I wonder. You’re so cold and unemotional at times, it really makes me think you’re a robot.”
“I’m not a robot!”
Just as soon as the words came out he couldn’t believe how ridiculous they sounded. He just smiled to himself and looked down.
“That’s strange…” he thought to himself.
In the moonlight his front paws looked silver. He brought them closer to his face. The flesh from the bottom of his paws had peeled off.
“What the…”
He looked closer and could clearly see that underneath the fur and the flesh, his front paws were made of metal.
“I knew it, you ARE a robot!”
Royal woke up. It was day time. He was no longer in Elle’s car. He was in the passenger’s seat of his beat-up Neon, Panda Bear in the driver’s seat. The time was 1pm, exactly.
“I don’t think you’re a robot.”
“What?!”
Royal quickly checked his paws. They were back to normal.
“You were talking in your sleep. You said ‘I’m not a robot!’ and started moving your paws. Anyways, yes I agree you’re not a robot dog, they only have those in Japan and you’re not Japanese…are you?”
Royal was silent for a moment.
“What else did I say?”
“You were mumbling and moving around a lot. That was the only line I could understand. Must’ve been a crazy dream, what were you dreaming about?”
Royal looked out the window.
“Elle.”
“Huh. What does Elle have to do with robots?”
Royal shifted uncomfortably.
Royal replied, “She called me a robot once, said I was too cold.”
Panda, clearly disappointed, said, “Now that’s less exciting. I thought maybe you were dreaming you were a robot that had gained self awareness and was trying to get accepted into the last surviving animal colony after those crazy humans blew everything up and…”
“No.”
“Oh.”
They both sat in silence.
“Did you want to talk about it?”
Royal looked outside at the highway signs.
“Looks like we’ll be home soon.”
“Yeah,” Panda replied, “We past Bakersfield about an hour ago.”
The long rolling hills and the vacant dust bowl farms made Royal feel…sad.
“I’m not sure.”
“What?” Panda replied.
“Maybe I am a robot.”
“Ok Mr. Roboto, were you made in Japan or China like me?”
“I’m serious. With Elle, it was fun, we had some good times. But I was never sure about, you know…”
“Your feelings?”
“Yeah.”
“Love?”
Panda looked over at Royal and the word hit the mutt like a bullet.
Panda, “What happened happened. You are who you are because of your past. If you’re happy with who you are, it’s all good.”
“If you’re not happy?”
“What? You’re a cool cat, if you don’t mind me saying. And you’ve got plenty of emotion. Remember that time we saw that movie about the old guy with the balloons? During the opening sequence, you were crying a river, two to be exact! Robots don’t do that, unless you install w…
“It’s not just about having any emotion. It’s about, you know… love.”
“Did you love her?”
Royal, “I don’t know. I’m not sure I even know what love is.”
“You guys seemed pretty happy together.”
“We were. But something happened. One day I realized the fire had died. But even knowing that, I pushed on and I tried to make it work.”
“Why?”
“Because I was tired and lazy.”
Panda, “Wow that sounds lazy, even to me.”
“What I mean is I was tired of chasing after this abstract feeling, after love. I was thinking to myself, what if this is it? What if this is love and this is the best it can be? So I let it linger…”
“But you knew the fire was out.”
“Yeah.”
“And it ate at you.”
“Yeah.”
Panda, “What made the fire die?”
Royal Mutt sat thinking about it.
“What happened was one day I made a dumb joke and she didn’t get it. I told her, ‘You never get my jokes.’ But the way I said that was the equivalent of saying, ‘You’re stupid.’”
Panda, “Dude that’s messed up. What was the joke?”
Royal, “That’s not the point! And I don’t even remember it. The point is that I was being an asshole. It was puppish and immature and looking back on the relationship, I could pick out points where I would do the same thing and try to undermine her.”
“Why would you do that?”
“The fire was out and even if consciously I was still in this relationship, my unconscious was doing everything it could to get out of it.”
“Sabotage?”
“Yeah, I can’t stand it but that’s what I was doing.”
Panda, “Why didn’t you just be straight up with her? Let her know what you felt, or in this case, not feel?”
Royal, “I was afraid I would hurt her.”
Panda, “Uh…”
“I know, dumb isn’t? Because I didn’t want to hurt her I hurt her more. Fuck.”
Panda looked at Royal and could tell he was hurting. Whenever Royal gets down, he’ll physically look down and start showing his teeth, as if he was getting ready to fight with himself.
Royal looked back up at Panda.
Royal, “I did learn one thing. You can’t hold it in. You can’t expect to pretend everything is ok and hope by doing so that things will become ok. The conversation we had before we broke up should’ve happened at least three months prior, but by then it was too late.”
Panda, seeing that the conversation was getting Royal down, tried to cheer him up, “Well at least you learned something. If you’re a robot at least you got good AI.”
Royal, smiling slightly, “Heh.”
Outside the midday sun caused all the shadows to take cover underneath their three dimensional counterpart. A rest stop was coming up in 5 miles.
Royal, “Do you mind if we stop at the next rest stop? I feel like driving.”
Panda, “Great, I feel like sleeping.”
They continued north.
June 14, 2009
Royal Mutt and Panda Bear - Chapter 5: The Pack
November 2, 2008
Panda Bear and Royal Mutt, Chapter Four: Importance

Panda Bear (smiling to himself): Kids take joy in the simplest things.
Panda Bear and Royal Mutt were having a lunch break at an In-N-Out in the center of the the San Fernando Valley. Royal Mutt chewed his double-double as he looked out the window over the valley. The I-5 cut through it like a multicolor metallic snake, the cars scales on its back reflecting the relentless glare of the midday sun. It was terribly sunny and it was getting hotter by the minute.
Royal Mutt (thinking out loud): The Sunshine State.
Panda: What's that?
Royal: Nothing.
Royal Mutt took a big bite of his burger and continued to look out as if in a trance over the I-5. As he finished chewing his burger he spoke.
Royal (motioning to the freeway with his nose): Ever wonder where everyone is going?
Panda: I assume most of them are going to work.
Royal: Right.
Panda (motioning behind Royal): Man, the kid behind us is really funny. He's drinking his entire drink like this.
Panda Bear mimicked the boy's drinking procedure for Royal Mutt. Royal inconspicuously looked over his right shoulder at the kid. The kid's mother was sitting next to the kid and chided the child to stop and to just drink the drink directly. Royal Mutt looked back at Panda Bear and smirked.
Royal: What a scientist.
Panda: Oh, look.
The kid's mom took the straw away from the child not knowing that the straw had soda in it, thus spilling it out on her lap. She put the straw back in the drink and told the kid angrily to drink the drink straight and left for the restroom. The child drank his drink quietly.
Royal: Shame, the kid stopped.
Royal: Nothing is important.
Panda: Ok Mr. I want to live forever.
Royal: Importance is a creation, something we impose on reality.
Royal: You're right, but what about the kid? When you realize nothing is important, you can see how no one's idea of importance overshadows another. Importance is an illusion.
Panda: So you're saying a kid's idea of importance is just as important as his mom's?
In-N-Out Clerk: Excuse me. Sorry, no animals inside.
Panda Bear and Royal Mutt got up out of their seats. They were done with their meals anyways. Royal made sure to mean mug the In-N-Out guy as he turned and walked away. The kid that was sitting at the other table pointed at them and laughed.
As they were leaving,
Royal (to Panda): That mom should teach that kid some manners.
October 25, 2008
Royal Mutt and Panda Bear Are Back! Chapter Three: Death
Royal Mutt drove listening to the quiet hum of the morning radio program as Panda Bear slept in the passenger seat. The morning rays were now fully stretching their arms and the highway was a sea of shining cars. They were approaching the bottleneck that is known as LA traffic. The freshness of the morning air was beginning to lose to the exhaust of cars. They passed a shopping center on the right that had interesting architecture, it was made to look like an ancient ruin on the outside. However, Royal Mutt could see all too clearly the name brand stores that lurked within, stores that could be found in any non-ancient ruin shopping center. “Funny,” thought Royal. The time was 830am.
Royal Mutt was signaling to turn left and just as he was making the turn, a red GT mustang came from behind and roared into the space that Royal Mutt was turning into.
Royal Mutt: Fuck.
Royal Mutt beeped his horn, but the other driver paid no heed and made no gesture of acknowledgment.
Panda Bear woke up.
Panda Bear: What happened?
Royal: A car nearly hit us, we almost died.
Panda: Dang, that would’ve sucked.
Panda Bear then tried to make several unsuccessful attempts to fall back asleep, but couldn’t. Noticing the sun’s ascent, he brought out his bamboo plant and held it outside the window to catch some healthy rays. Royal Mutt noticed Panda Bear’s relaxed manner.
Royal: You seem quite happy, considering we almost died.
Panda Bear thought for a second.
Panda: Well, I’m sure that regardless of dying or not, there was nothing we could’ve done about it. These things happen, has nothing to do with me.
Royal: You’re not afraid of death?
Panda: No, not at all.
Royal: Why’d you say it would’ve sucked?
Panda: Hmm, well I just said that off the top of my head, again I was kinda sleepy when you asked me. It was just a social reflex, you say “we could’ve died” I say “that would’ve sucked”, you say “what’s up” and instead of saying “the sky” I would say “not much.” But honestly death doesn’t scare me.
Royal Mutt made a quick glance over at Panda Bear to check if Panda’s face matched his voice with the same sincerity. Panda Bear was calm and poised, with his right hand outside the window firmly gripping the base of his bamboo plant.
Royal (concentrating on the road): I want to live forever.
Panda (chuckling): Good luck with that.
Royal: You don’t want to?
Panda: If you mean living in this body forever, I’ll pass. I don’t think it’s natural, if there’s life there must be death.
Royal: Why?
Panda: Well, life needs death as much as death needs life. In this reality, everything is in flux, things change. For change to happen, the old has to make way for the new, thus: death. Everything has a time limit, thus living in accordance with everything else we must have a time limit as well.
The sun was getting stronger and the reflection off the other cars in traffic caught Royal Mutt in the eyes. He moved the sun visor to the front.
Royal: Regardless of if it’s natural or not, do you have the desire to live forever?
Panda: Nope. If life had no time limit, time here would be less worthwhile.
Royal was about to say something when Priscilla Ahn’s song “Dream” starting playing off the radio. They were both fans of the song.
Panda: This song reminds me of butterflies.
Royal: Yeah.
Royal Mutt had no idea why he agreed, but somehow it made sense to him. Royal checked his blind spot and carefully moved into the left lane.
The two of them were inching up I-5 as they made their way across the LA sprawl.
August 7, 2008
Panda Bear and Royal Mutt (Chapter Two: God)
Royal Mutt: So I’m telling you, the idea of God is questionable.
Panda Bear from time to time doesn’t mind delving into these types of discussions, but Royal Mutt seems to have a bone to pick with religion.
RM: To take an example from Carl Sagan, let’s say I have an invisible dragon in my garage.
Panda Bear: Ok, now I’m interested.
RM: …no one can see this dragon except me. Not only is it invisible, it’s incorporeal. No matter what device you use to detect it: electromagnetism, sand on the ground, infrared goggles…there’s no way you can establish it’s there.
PB: What about luring it with a hot chick, like Kitty Pryde?
RM: Let’s say that even fails, what have we proven? Nothing. Saying I have an invisible dragon in my garage is equivalent to saying nothing at all.
PB: Ok, I see where you’re going with this, so…
RM: By extrapolation this can be made to apply to God.
PB: The way you were describing it I was thinking more of ghosts.
RB: Holy Ghosts.
PB: Well, maybe it’s just that our devices aren’t advanced enough to detect your dragon.
RM: True, but doesn’t that mean we should be improving and expanding on what we know versus chasing invisible dragons, ghosts, or gods? *sniff*sniff* Did you just fart?
PB: No, my invisible dragon did it.
RM: You’re overbearing.
July 10, 2008
Royal Mutt and Panda Bear (Chapter One: Time)
Royal Mutt sat in the car waiting. He looked at his car clock, it was 6:58 in the morning give or take 3 minutes. Panda Bear came out of his house with a small duffel bag and bamboo plant in hand. "Hey, sorry 'bout the wait," Panda Bear said as he got in through the passenger side door and put his stuff in the back.
Royal Mutt: It's cool.
Royal Mutt checked to see if any cars were coming on his left side, then he made a U-Turn and a left out onto the main road. In a matter of minutes they were on the 5 North.
RM: So we got a lot of free time, what we going to do?
Panda Bear: Time has always been free man.
RM: What do you mean?
PB: Well, I mean time is what we make of it right?
RM: Right.
PB: But before we make time anything, it's free.
Royal Mutt looked to the left, the small valleys of Southern California were getting their breakfast of morning sun. These indentions in the earth tucked away on the side of the highway were to him small beds of flora and fauna just waiting for their chance to explode onto the next evolutionary stage.
RM: (ruminating on what Panda Bear said) Hmm, never really thought about it that way.
The two continued north.