Showing posts with label Royal Mutt and Panda Bear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Royal Mutt and Panda Bear. Show all posts

November 9, 2010

The Pack: Wolf & Charlie Artwork

click image to enlarge


The Pack
"Wolf & Charlie" artwork by a p o
story by James Y. Shih

Introduction: I wrote this story in June of 2009. It originally belongs to my "Royal Mutt and Panda Bear" series. Over a year has passed, but as promised, I was finally able to commission a drawing for the story (i.e. repeatedly nagged an artist to draw something for me for free). a p o was able to get what I was going for almost immediately on top of that she added her own style that you can see clearly in the "Wolf & Charlie" drawing above. If you guys don't quite remember "The Pack", I've reposted the story below, minus the Royal Mutt and Panda Bear Intro/Outro bits. Let me know your guys thoughts on the drawing and/or story.

---
The Pack


There was a pack of dogs that grew up together in a small town. The pack was a nontraditional pack in the sense that no one was in charge. The pack would just roam the streets, picking up what scraps that they could and pass the time hanging out, chasing cats, and playing ball. They lived in an abandoned concrete lot with a rusted metal roof that protected them from the rain. They called it home.

They knew their place in this world. They knew that they loved this town and that although there might be greater things out there in the world, they were at least safe here. However, out of this unspectacular group of dogs, there were two that stood out: Wolf and Charlie.

Wolf was a strong, smart wolf-dog with a large white mane with a silver diamond tuff of hair in the center. Charlie was a tall and fierce black lab with an easy temper.

Frequently frustrated with the lack of direction with the pack, Wolf took the role of leader planning excursions out for food and trips around town.

Charlie resented Wolf, he loved the freedom of having no alpha dog, and would constantly butt heads with Wolf and try to undermine Wolf. The rest of the pack would always just watch amused, content to sit by the sidelines and not take any sides.

At one point, Wolf and Charlie had a confrontation that almost led to a dog fight. Wolf had decided that on that particular afternoon, the pack, excluding Charlie, was going to make a trip to the other side of town to get food since the trash collector had already collected all the trash in their neighborhood this morning.

Due to a recent possum attack, Charlie, the fiercest of the group, was dictated the role of guard dog until they came back. Charlie, not wanting to take orders from this self appointed leader, barked back, 'Wolf, I don't have to listen to you. I know that when you find a stuffed bin you will keep all the best scraps for yourself, leaving me with measly leftovers.'

Though this comment was probably more true for Lazy and Carl, Charlie singled out Wolf. Wolf tried to explain why Charlie was the best fit for being the guard dog, that the only other pack member as strong as Charlie was probably himself.

'Then why don't you be guard dog?,' Charlie barked back at Wolf. Wolf looked into Charlie's eyes. There was a long silence and the tension began to grow unbearable. Finally Wolf said very stoically to Charlie, 'Fine.'

Charlie turned to the pack that sat watching and as they made their way out to the street, Wolf, sitting in the center of the lot all by himself, said to Charlie and the pack, 'Goodbye.'

The pack made their way across town slowly. Charlie assumed that someone else in the pack knew the way, but everyone else thought that Charlie knew. Charlie not wanting to look bad in this new found position and definitely not wanting to turn to Wolf for help, used his sense of direction and got the pack lost many times much to the growing frustration and hunger of the pack.

When Charlie and the pack eventually got back from the other side of town, they found their home overrun with possums. Charlie's killer instinct switched on and began lunging at the possums and attacking with his jaws. He took some scratches to the face, but bit back twice as hard as the rest of the pack stood back and barked.

When everything settled down, and the possums had run away, Charlie realized that Wolf was gone and had been gone for a while. Charlie took it upon himself to search the lot for more possums as the rest of the pack chose to sleep rather than to help.

The next morning, Lazy was found dead behind the concrete lot, clawed to death by some possums that had made a nest in a corner that Charlie had overlooked. The possums were already long gone. The whole pack was in outrage and blamed Charlie for the death and for Wolf's departure. They all gathered around Charlie (yet still keeping a good distance) and unanimously agreed that Charlie was out of the pack and the only way he could return was if he returned with Wolf.

Disillusioned and with no place to go, Charlie set out to find Wolf. He made his rounds around town to the regular food stops, asking strays and other packs if they had seen or gotten a whiff of Wolf. Silver Stray, an old silver lab, had picked up a scent while passing the exit from town to the City.

Charlie following the scent traveled to the City, a metropolis that was a good day's jog away from town. Arriving there, he found himself in culture shock. The tall skyscrapers' loomed overhead as if to crash at any moment. The stunning skyline was a stark contrast to the darkness below, where he saw a dog kill another dog over a canister of pills.

He was by far one of the fiercest dogs in his town, but he found himself quivering as mangy dogs that smelled of shit and urine barked and snapped at him as he made his way out of the alleys of the City.

He eventually got to a park that was in a much nicer district, but by then it was dark and Charlie, feeling safer, made his home under a bench. Early next morning he began to ask the locals if they had seen Wolf. The dogs there however did not even give him the time of day, and passed him by or pretended to not hear him.

As he made his way to the edge of the park, he got a second whiff of Wolf and followed it to a beautiful oak tree that stood out like a sore paw.

Wolf sat under the tree looking out into the city streets. 'Wolf!' Charlie yelled out.

Wolf turned and looked surprised. 'Charlie?'

They met each other under the shade of the oak and nearly touched noses until they remembered the animosity they were supposed to feel towards each other.

'Lazy's dead. We need you back.'

Surprised, Wolf said, 'What?'

"'Lazy, he got killed by possums, it's all your fault. You were supposed to watch the home. You weren't there, you let down the pack, you got one of our own killed you son of a bitch,' Charlie barked.

Wolf sat, looking at Charlie.

'Did you come all the way here to blame me?', Wolf said.

'Yes and also to bring you back. You're going to have to face the entire pack for what you did.'

'What I did? All I did was give you what you wanted, freedom from my orders,' Wolf replied.

'But you were supposed to watch the home, that was your job! You had a responsibility and you threw it away!' There were tears in Charlie's eyes.

'I gave you that job first remember? My job was to get our pack food because I knew the way, but you were too stubborn to even recognize that fact and undoubtedly got our pack lost and hungry. It wasn't easy for me to leave, that was my home too. But I could see that living there and being the alpha, I was only going to get resentment from those dogs, you showed me that.'

'What the hell are you talking about?' replied Charlie.

'I tried my best, I really did,' it was Wolf's turn to have tears in his eyes. 'The pack, I mean I love them, I was willing to give them everything. They have so much potential, all those dogs, but I realized that they are not me. They're content chasing cars, stealing meat from the butcher, chasing tail. I'm not saying that's wrong, that's their choice. But life is an incredible mystery. I felt that in that small town and in that small pack I only got the tip of the garbage heap. I was planning on leaving anyways, and when you left with the pack, I saw my opportunity.'

'What the hell does this have to do with anything?' Charlie snapped back, 'You were supposed to do something and failed. You see these scratches on my face? Do you know how mutilated Lazy's body was when I found him?'

Wolf's face quickly changed from a face of sensitivity to that of anger, an anger born from exhaustion.

'I'm tired.'

'Huh?'

'I'm tired of taking all the blame. I'm tired of being responsible for things other grown dogs should have easily handled by themselves. Did you really come all this way to put the blame on me? Fine. You win. I'll take the blame, I'll wear the weight of Lazy's death on my back. But remember this, this is the last time. From now on you're responsible for your own life. You didn't come all the way here just to make yourself feel better. Even though you hated me the most out of the pack, know this, I always had the most respect for you.'

Stunned, always thinking that Wolf detested him, Charlie sat listening.

'You know why? Because at least you had an opinion, at least you were willing to confront me. And although your intentions might not have been a 100% right, at least you took action. You came here because you knew you were different. You have a different path from the pack, as do I. I won't be able to carry you on the path because I'm trying to discover what that is for myself. I'm going to leave now and I don't want you to follow me. If you do, I will kill you. But if we do meet again, let it be further down the road when we are better dogs and can be better friends.'

Charlie watched like a statue frozen by Wolf's words as Wolf sat up from under the tree and disappeared into the city streets. After some time, Charlie took Wolf's place under the tree and sat quietly.

He could hear the wind, the hum of humans and machines, and other dogs barking in the distance. The slight breeze brought with it a small hurricane of leaves and smells. The smells and sounds of the city enveloped Charlie as he watched the skyscrapers crash around him into shards of glass.

The End.

February 20, 2010

Royal Mutt and Panda Bear - Chapter 6: Love

“Are you a robot?”

The question caught Royal Mutt off guard.

Royal Mutt and Elle were sitting in her old white Infiniti on top of a hill. Above them the stars twinkled in the Southern Californian sky, below them laid the city, a sea of lights next to the sea.

Royal replied with a nervous laugh, “Heh…what?”

“Do you feel anything?”

“Of course I feel things.”

“Sometimes I wonder. You’re so cold and unemotional at times, it really makes me think you’re a robot.”

“I’m not a robot!”

Just as soon as the words came out he couldn’t believe how ridiculous they sounded. He just smiled to himself and looked down.

“That’s strange…” he thought to himself.

In the moonlight his front paws looked silver. He brought them closer to his face. The flesh from the bottom of his paws had peeled off.

“What the…”

He looked closer and could clearly see that underneath the fur and the flesh, his front paws were made of metal.

“I knew it, you ARE a robot!”

Royal woke up. It was day time. He was no longer in Elle’s car. He was in the passenger’s seat of his beat-up Neon, Panda Bear in the driver’s seat. The time was 1pm, exactly.

“I don’t think you’re a robot.”

“What?!”

Royal quickly checked his paws. They were back to normal.

“You were talking in your sleep. You said ‘I’m not a robot!’ and started moving your paws. Anyways, yes I agree you’re not a robot dog, they only have those in Japan and you’re not Japanese…are you?”

Royal was silent for a moment.

“What else did I say?”

“You were mumbling and moving around a lot. That was the only line I could understand. Must’ve been a crazy dream, what were you dreaming about?”

Royal looked out the window.

“Elle.”

“Huh. What does Elle have to do with robots?”

Royal shifted uncomfortably.

Royal replied, “She called me a robot once, said I was too cold.”

Panda, clearly disappointed, said, “Now that’s less exciting. I thought maybe you were dreaming you were a robot that had gained self awareness and was trying to get accepted into the last surviving animal colony after those crazy humans blew everything up and…”

“No.”

“Oh.”

They both sat in silence.

“Did you want to talk about it?”

Royal looked outside at the highway signs.

“Looks like we’ll be home soon.”

“Yeah,” Panda replied, “We past Bakersfield about an hour ago.”

The long rolling hills and the vacant dust bowl farms made Royal feel…sad.

“I’m not sure.”

“What?” Panda replied.

“Maybe I am a robot.”

“Ok Mr. Roboto, were you made in Japan or China like me?”

“I’m serious. With Elle, it was fun, we had some good times. But I was never sure about, you know…”

“Your feelings?”

“Yeah.”

“Love?”

Panda looked over at Royal and the word hit the mutt like a bullet.

Panda, “What happened happened. You are who you are because of your past. If you’re happy with who you are, it’s all good.”

“If you’re not happy?”

“What? You’re a cool cat, if you don’t mind me saying. And you’ve got plenty of emotion. Remember that time we saw that movie about the old guy with the balloons? During the opening sequence, you were crying a river, two to be exact! Robots don’t do that, unless you install w…

“It’s not just about having any emotion. It’s about, you know… love.”

“Did you love her?”

Royal, “I don’t know. I’m not sure I even know what love is.”

“You guys seemed pretty happy together.”

“We were. But something happened. One day I realized the fire had died. But even knowing that, I pushed on and I tried to make it work.”

“Why?”

“Because I was tired and lazy.”

Panda, “Wow that sounds lazy, even to me.”

“What I mean is I was tired of chasing after this abstract feeling, after love. I was thinking to myself, what if this is it? What if this is love and this is the best it can be? So I let it linger…”

“But you knew the fire was out.”

“Yeah.”

“And it ate at you.”

“Yeah.”

Panda, “What made the fire die?”

Royal Mutt sat thinking about it.

“What happened was one day I made a dumb joke and she didn’t get it. I told her, ‘You never get my jokes.’ But the way I said that was the equivalent of saying, ‘You’re stupid.’”

Panda, “Dude that’s messed up. What was the joke?”

Royal, “That’s not the point! And I don’t even remember it. The point is that I was being an asshole. It was puppish and immature and looking back on the relationship, I could pick out points where I would do the same thing and try to undermine her.”

“Why would you do that?”

“The fire was out and even if consciously I was still in this relationship, my unconscious was doing everything it could to get out of it.”

“Sabotage?”

“Yeah, I can’t stand it but that’s what I was doing.”

Panda, “Why didn’t you just be straight up with her? Let her know what you felt, or in this case, not feel?”

Royal, “I was afraid I would hurt her.”

Panda, “Uh…”

“I know, dumb isn’t? Because I didn’t want to hurt her I hurt her more. Fuck.”

Panda looked at Royal and could tell he was hurting. Whenever Royal gets down, he’ll physically look down and start showing his teeth, as if he was getting ready to fight with himself.

Royal looked back up at Panda.

Royal, “I did learn one thing. You can’t hold it in. You can’t expect to pretend everything is ok and hope by doing so that things will become ok. The conversation we had before we broke up should’ve happened at least three months prior, but by then it was too late.”

Panda, seeing that the conversation was getting Royal down, tried to cheer him up, “Well at least you learned something. If you’re a robot at least you got good AI.”

Royal, smiling slightly, “Heh.”

Outside the midday sun caused all the shadows to take cover underneath their three dimensional counterpart. A rest stop was coming up in 5 miles.

Royal, “Do you mind if we stop at the next rest stop? I feel like driving.”

Panda, “Great, I feel like sleeping.”

They continued north.

June 14, 2009

Royal Mutt and Panda Bear - Chapter 5: The Pack

"The Pack" title artwork posted here.


Royal Mutt sat in the passenger seat, going in and out of sleep. The landscape passed him by like a choppy movie jumping from scene to scene as he struggled to keep his eyes opened.

The time was 11:58 AM, give or take three minutes.

Panda Bear spoke, "Royal."

Royal Mutt shook his head awake.

Royal, "Yeah?"

Panda Bear, "Got any stories to tell? I'm getting kinda tired."

Royal, "You want to switch?"

Panda Bear, "Nah it's cool, we're making good time now and we just stopped so it's all good."

Royal thought silently for a long time.

________


There was a pack of dogs that grew up together in a small town. The pack was a nontraditional pack in the sense that no one was in charge. The pack would just roam the streets, picking up what scraps that they could and pass the time hanging out, chasing cats, and playing ball. They lived in an abandoned concrete lot with a rusted metal roof that protected them from the rain. They called it home.

They knew their place in this world. They knew that they loved this town and that although there might be greater things out there in the world, they were at least safe here. However, out of this unspectacular group of dogs, there were two that stood out: Wolf and Charlie.

Wolf was a strong, smart wolf-dog with a large white mane with a silver diamond tuff of hair in the center. Charlie was a tall and fierce black lab with an easy temper.

Frequently frustrated with the lack of direction with the pack, Wolf took the role of leader planning excursions out for food and trips around town.

Charlie resented Wolf, he loved the freedom of having no alpha dog, and would constantly butt heads with Wolf and try to undermine Wolf. The rest of the pack would always just watch amused, content to sit by the sidelines and not take any sides.

At one point, Wolf and Charlie had a confrontation that almost led to a dog fight. Wolf had decided that on that particular afternoon, the pack, excluding Charlie, was going to make a trip to the other side of town to get food since the trash collector had already collected all the trash in their neighborhood this morning.

Due to a recent possum attack, Charlie, the fiercest of the group, was dictated the role of guard dog until they came back. Charlie, not wanting to take orders from this self appointed leader, barked back, 'Wolf, I don't have to listen to you. I know that when you find a stuffed bin you will keep all the best scraps for yourself, leaving me with measly leftovers.'

Though this comment was probably more true for Lazy and Carl, Charlie singled out Wolf. Wolf tried to explain why Charlie was the best fit for being the guard dog, that the only other pack member as strong as Charlie was probably himself.

'Then why don't you be guard dog?,' Charlie barked back at Wolf. Wolf looked into Charlie's eyes. There was a long silence and the tension began to grow unbearable. Finally Wolf said very stoically to Charlie, 'Fine.'

Charlie turned to the pack that sat watching and as they made their way out to the street, Wolf, sitting in the center of the lot all by himself, said to Charlie and the pack, 'Goodbye.'

The pack made their way across town slowly. Charlie assumed that someone else in the pack knew the way, but everyone else thought that Charlie knew. Charlie not wanting to look bad in this new found position and definitely not wanting to turn to Wolf for help, used his sense of direction and got the pack lost many times much to the growing frustration and hunger of the pack.

When Charlie and the pack eventually got back from the other side of town, they found their home overrun with possums. Charlie's killer instinct switched on and began lunging at the possums and attacking with his jaws. He took some scratches to the face, but bit back twice as hard as the rest of the pack stood back and barked.

When everything settled down, and the possums had run away, Charlie realized that Wolf was gone and had been gone for a while. Charlie took it upon himself to search the lot for more possums as the rest of the pack chose to sleep rather than to help.

The next morning, Lazy was found dead behind the concrete lot, clawed to death by some possums that had made a nest in a corner that Charlie had overlooked. The possums were already long gone. The whole pack was in outrage and blamed Charlie for the death and for Wolf's departure. They all gathered around Charlie (yet still keeping a good distance) and unanimously agreed that Charlie was out of the pack and the only way he could return was if he returned with Wolf.

Disillusioned and with no place to go, Charlie set out to find Wolf. He made his rounds around town to the regular food stops, asking strays and other packs if they had seen or gotten a whiff of Wolf. Silver Stray, an old silver lab, had picked up a scent while passing the exit from town to the City.

Charlie following the scent traveled to the City, a metropolis that was a good day's jog away from town. Arriving there, he found himself in culture shock. The tall skyscrapers' loomed overhead as if to crash at any moment. The stunning skyline was a stark contrast to the darkness below, where he saw a dog kill another dog over a canister of pills.

He was by far one of the fiercest dogs in his town, but he found himself quivering as mangy dogs that smelled of shit and urine barked and snapped at him as he made his way out of the alleys of the City.

He eventually got to a park that was in a much nicer district, but by then it was dark and Charlie, feeling safer, made his home under a bench. Early next morning he began to ask the locals if they had seen Wolf. The dogs there however did not even give him the time of day, and passed him by or pretended to not hear him.

As he made his way to the edge of the park, he got a second whiff of Wolf and followed it to a beautiful oak tree that stood out like a sore paw.

Wolf sat under the tree looking out into the city streets. 'Wolf!' Charlie yelled out.

Wolf turned and looked surprised. 'Charlie?'

They met each other under the shade of the oak and nearly touched noses until they remembered the animosity they were supposed to feel towards each other.

'Lazy's dead. We need you back.'

Surprised, Wolf said, 'What?'

"'Lazy, he got killed by possums, it's all your fault. You were supposed to watch the home. You weren't there, you let down the pack, you got one of our own killed you son of a bitch,' Charlie barked.

Wolf sat, looking at Charlie.

'Did you come all the way here to blame me?', Wolf said.

'Yes and also to bring you back. You're going to have to face the entire pack for what you did.'

'What I did? All I did was give you what you wanted, freedom from my orders,' Wolf replied.

'But you were supposed to watch the home, that was your job! You had a responsibility and you threw it away!' There were tears in Charlie's eyes.

'I gave you that job first remember? My job was to get our pack food because I knew the way, but you were too stubborn to even recognize that fact and undoubtedly got our pack lost and hungry. It wasn't easy for me to leave, that was my home too. But I could see that living there and being the alpha, I was only going to get resentment from those dogs, you showed me that.'

'What the hell are you talking about?' replied Charlie.

'I tried my best, I really did,' it was Wolf's turn to have tears in his eyes. 'The pack, I mean I love them, I was willing to give them everything. They have so much potential, all those dogs, but I realized that they are not me. They're content chasing cars, stealing meat from the butcher, chasing tail. I'm not saying that's wrong, that's their choice. But life is an incredible mystery. I felt that in that small town and in that small pack I only got the tip of the garbage heap. I was planning on leaving anyways, and when you left with the pack, I saw my opportunity.'

'What the hell does this have to do with anything?' Charlie snapped back, 'You were supposed to do something and failed. You see these scratches on my face? Do you know how mutilated Lazy's body was when I found him?'

Wolf's face quickly changed from a face of sensitivity to that of anger, an anger born from exhaustion.

'I'm tired.'

'Huh?'

'I'm tired of taking all the blame. I'm tired of being responsible for things other grown dogs should have easily handled by themselves. Did you really come all this way to put the blame on me? Fine. You win. I'll take the blame, I'll wear the weight of Lazy's death on my back. But remember this, this is the last time. From now on you're responsible for your own life. You didn't come all the way here just to make yourself feel better. Even though you hated me the most out of the pack, know this, I always had the most respect for you.'

Stunned, always thinking that Wolf detested him, Charlie sat listening.

'You know why? Because at least you had an opinion, at least you were willing to confront me. And although your intentions might not have been a 100% right, at least you took action. You came here because you knew you were different. You have a different path from the pack, as do I. I won't be able to carry you on the path because I'm trying to discover what that is for myself. I'm going to leave now and I don't want you to follow me. If you do, I will kill you. But if we do meet again, let it be further down the road when we are better dogs and can be better friends.'

Charlie watched like a statue frozen by Wolf's words as Wolf sat up from under the tree and disappeared into the city streets. After some time, Charlie took Wolf's place under the tree and sat quietly.

He could hear the wind, the hum of humans and machines, and other dogs barking in the distance. The slight breeze brought with it a small hurricane of leaves and smells. The smells and sounds of the city enveloped Charlie as he watched the skyscrapers crash around him into shards of glass.

The End.

________


Royal looked over at Panda. Panda's eyes looked closed.

"Panda!" Royal barked loudly.

Panda opened his eyes and started laughing. "Haha, I totally got you. I was awake, good story dog. I especially like the part where Charlie fights the possums."

Royal grumbled under his breath.

Panda Bear looked briefly at Royal and then out onto the road, "The story reminds me of someone."

They continued to head north.

November 2, 2008

Panda Bear and Royal Mutt, Chapter Four: Importance


drawing by LONG

Panda Bear sat munching his veggie burger at an In-N-Out off the I-5. A kid that was sitting at a nearby table was drinking soda very methodically. He was sipping through a straw and then immediately covering the straw with his index finger. Then after positioning the straw above his mouth he would let go of his index finger and let the soda flow down. Each time he did so, a smile of contentment warmed over his face.

Panda Bear (smiling to himself): Kids take joy in the simplest things.

Panda Bear and Royal Mutt were having a lunch break at an In-N-Out in the center of the the San Fernando Valley. Royal Mutt chewed his double-double as he looked out the window over the valley. The I-5 cut through it like a multicolor metallic snake, the cars scales on its back reflecting the relentless glare of the midday sun. It was terribly sunny and it was getting hotter by the minute.

Royal Mutt (thinking out loud): The Sunshine State.

Panda: What's that?

Royal: Nothing.

Royal Mutt took a big bite of his burger and continued to look out as if in a trance over the I-5. As he finished chewing his burger he spoke.

Royal (motioning to the freeway with his nose): Ever wonder where everyone is going?

Panda: I assume most of them are going to work.

Royal: Right.

Panda (motioning behind Royal): Man, the kid behind us is really funny. He's drinking his entire drink like this.

Panda Bear mimicked the boy's drinking procedure for Royal Mutt. Royal inconspicuously looked over his right shoulder at the kid. The kid's mother was sitting next to the kid and chided the child to stop and to just drink the drink directly. Royal Mutt looked back at Panda Bear and smirked.

Royal: What a scientist.

Panda: Oh, look.

The kid's mom took the straw away from the child not knowing that the straw had soda in it, thus spilling it out on her lap. She put the straw back in the drink and told the kid angrily to drink the drink straight and left for the restroom. The child drank his drink quietly.

Royal: Shame, the kid stopped. 

Panda: Well, the mom probably thought it wasn't good having her son playing around with food like that. Personally I thought it was entertaining.

Royal: Why wasn't it "good"?

Panda: The way the kid was drinking wasn't getting the soda to his mouth that well, which is important. 

Royal: Nothing is important.

Panda: Ok Mr. I want to live forever.

Royal: Importance is a creation, something we impose on reality. 

Panda: Then why do you impose so much importance on life?

Royal: Cuz I want to.

Panda: Hmm, well then that doesn't make you so different from the mom. The way you're defining importance, anyone can make anything important, for the mom it's to make the kid not fool around.

Royal: You're right, but what about the kid? When you realize nothing is important, you can see how no one's idea of importance overshadows another. Importance is an illusion.

Panda: So you're saying a kid's idea of importance is just as important as his mom's?

Before Royal Mutt could respond a pubescent, pimply In-N-Out clerk came to their table.

In-N-Out Clerk: Excuse me. Sorry, no animals inside.

Panda Bear and Royal Mutt got up out of their seats. They were done with their meals anyways. Royal made sure to mean mug the In-N-Out guy as he turned and walked away. The kid that was sitting at the other table pointed at them and laughed.

As they were leaving,

Royal (to Panda): That mom should teach that kid some manners.


Previously on Royal Mutt and Panda Bear:

October 25, 2008

Royal Mutt and Panda Bear Are Back! Chapter Three: Death

drawing by APO


Royal Mutt drove listening to the quiet hum of the morning radio program as Panda Bear slept in the passenger seat. The morning rays were now fully stretching their arms and the highway was a sea of shining cars. They were approaching the bottleneck that is known as LA traffic. The freshness of the morning air was beginning to lose to the exhaust of cars. They passed a shopping center on the right that had interesting architecture, it was made to look like an ancient ruin on the outside. However, Royal Mutt could see all too clearly the name brand stores that lurked within, stores that could be found in any non-ancient ruin shopping center. “Funny,” thought Royal. The time was 830am.

Royal Mutt was signaling to turn left and just as he was making the turn, a red GT mustang came from behind and roared into the space that Royal Mutt was turning into.

Royal Mutt: Fuck.

Royal Mutt beeped his horn, but the other driver paid no heed and made no gesture of acknowledgment.

Panda Bear woke up.

Panda Bear: What happened?

Royal: A car nearly hit us, we almost died.

Panda: Dang, that would’ve sucked.

Panda Bear then tried to make several unsuccessful attempts to fall back asleep, but couldn’t. Noticing the sun’s ascent, he brought out his bamboo plant and held it outside the window to catch some healthy rays. Royal Mutt noticed Panda Bear’s relaxed manner.

Royal: You seem quite happy, considering we almost died.

Panda Bear thought for a second.

Panda: Well, I’m sure that regardless of dying or not, there was nothing we could’ve done about it. These things happen, has nothing to do with me.

Royal: You’re not afraid of death?

Panda: No, not at all.

Royal: Why’d you say it would’ve sucked?

Panda: Hmm, well I just said that off the top of my head, again I was kinda sleepy when you asked me. It was just a social reflex, you say “we could’ve died” I say “that would’ve sucked”, you say “what’s up” and instead of saying “the sky” I would say “not much.” But honestly death doesn’t scare me.

Royal Mutt made a quick glance over at Panda Bear to check if Panda’s face matched his voice with the same sincerity. Panda Bear was calm and poised, with his right hand outside the window firmly gripping the base of his bamboo plant.


Royal (concentrating on the road): I want to live forever.

Panda (chuckling): Good luck with that.

Royal: You don’t want to?

Panda: If you mean living in this body forever, I’ll pass. I don’t think it’s natural, if there’s life there must be death.

Royal: Why?

Panda: Well, life needs death as much as death needs life. In this reality, everything is in flux, things change. For change to happen, the old has to make way for the new, thus: death. Everything has a time limit, thus living in accordance with everything else we must have a time limit as well.

The sun was getting stronger and the reflection off the other cars in traffic caught Royal Mutt in the eyes. He moved the sun visor to the front.

Royal: Regardless of if it’s natural or not, do you have the desire to live forever?

Panda: Nope. If life had no time limit, time here would be less worthwhile.

Royal was about to say something when Priscilla Ahn’s song “Dream” starting playing off the radio. They were both fans of the song.

Panda: This song reminds me of butterflies.

Royal: Yeah.

Royal Mutt had no idea why he agreed, but somehow it made sense to him. Royal checked his blind spot and carefully moved into the left lane.

The two of them were inching up I-5 as they made their way across the LA sprawl.

August 7, 2008

Panda Bear and Royal Mutt (Chapter Two: God)

Panda Bear and Royal Mutt have been driving for about an hour now, they just past Camp Pendleton and are in the middle of a discussion.

Royal Mutt: So I’m telling you, the idea of God is questionable.

Panda Bear from time to time doesn’t mind delving into these types of discussions, but Royal Mutt seems to have a bone to pick with religion.

RM: To take an example from Carl Sagan, let’s say I have an invisible dragon in my garage.

Panda Bear: Ok, now I’m interested.

RM: …no one can see this dragon except me. Not only is it invisible, it’s incorporeal. No matter what device you use to detect it: electromagnetism, sand on the ground, infrared goggles…there’s no way you can establish it’s there.

PB: What about luring it with a hot chick, like Kitty Pryde?

RM: Let’s say that even fails, what have we proven? Nothing. Saying I have an invisible dragon in my garage is equivalent to saying nothing at all.

PB: Ok, I see where you’re going with this, so…

RM: By extrapolation this can be made to apply to God.

PB: The way you were describing it I was thinking more of ghosts.

RB: Holy Ghosts.

PB: Well, maybe it’s just that our devices aren’t advanced enough to detect your dragon.

RM: True, but doesn’t that mean we should be improving and expanding on what we know versus chasing invisible dragons, ghosts, or gods? *sniff*sniff* Did you just fart?

PB: No, my invisible dragon did it.

RM: You’re overbearing.

July 10, 2008

Royal Mutt and Panda Bear (Chapter One: Time)

Royal Mutt sat in the car waiting. He looked at his car clock, it was 6:58 in the morning give or take 3 minutes. Panda Bear came out of his house with a small duffel bag and bamboo plant in hand. "Hey, sorry 'bout the wait," Panda Bear said as he got in through the passenger side door and put his stuff in the back.

Royal Mutt: It's cool.


Royal Mutt checked to see if any cars were coming on his left side, then he made a U-Turn and a left out onto the main road. In a matter of minutes they were on the 5 North.

RM: So we got a lot of free time, what we going to do?

Panda Bear: Time has always been free man.


RM: What do you mean?

PB: Well, I mean time is what we make of it right?

RM: Right.

PB: But before we make time anything, it's free.

Royal Mutt looked to the left, the small valleys of Southern California were getting their breakfast of morning sun. These indentions in the earth tucked away on the side of the highway were to him small beds of flora and fauna just waiting for their chance to explode onto the next evolutionary stage.

RM: (ruminating on what Panda Bear said) Hmm, never really thought about it that way.

The two continued north.